Been wanting to do this post for a while now, but can’t seem to get myself to write somehow…but here’s attempt to change that… 
I learned about the apparel diet (or the ’shopping diet’, as I prefer to call it, trying to spread its meaning from simply clothes to other things I want to leave aside for a while, a part which I shall get to later) from a dear friend, who mentioned it in one of our online conversations of some kind; I instinctively felt like I should join, tho at that time I was not quite sure what my reasons were. I just said I wanted to, and I did – as easy as saying ‘no thank you’ to one extra cookie after you’ve had five already, I said ‘no’ to a whole seven months of going through stores, admiring patterns, materials and shapes, enjoying the feel, the look and the touch, and finally adding some happiness to my closet by making it one tiny little piece more full, more ‘complete’. And not only that – I regretted not doing it earlier, not having banned myself from shopping back then in September when I should have done it, but waiting until now. Why?
I guess reading what I just said, one would think I have a serious shopping addiction that I have become aware of, and have found in myself (probably after years of struggle) the desire to put an end to it, and save myself from debt and an empty wallet. And yet, I don’t think it could be any further from the truth I am most certainly not an obsessive shopper – I don’t buy very often, and I only buy things that I am sure I am going to wear; Unless there is a “change in my proportions” (which happens, because my weight oscillates wildly on occasions) and things become too small for me, I am most certainly to wear everything I get multiple times, and enjoy it. I am also not one of those people who buy things only because they are cheap, or because they ‘think’ they need two more pairs of ‘that fav shirt they have now, just in case’ – I prefer spending my money on less, but quality pieces, and I enjoy good design; I enjoy non-conventional pieces, love to explore the works of young, not-yet-famous designers, and am able to save for months to get myself one of those desired, special pieces. This does not mean that I don’t get an occasional ‘shopping rush’ and go crazy at H&M – au contraire, I love shopping everywhere, from second-hands to designer stores, and I cherish my nice H&M finds (or things I find in my grandma’s closet) as much as I do my one piece of contemporary Scandinavian design, which took me months of saving to acquire. But I am, all taken into account, really not one of those ladies who shop (too) much, and in a way I am happy with that
But, if I don’t have a shopping problem, and I’ve already learned to use and re-use every of the pieces in my wardrobe, why am I doing this? In all honesty, because of things which have nothing to do with clothes as such, but with self-understanding.
I’ve always found clothes to be much more than simple ‘cover-ups’, something we wear because we need to, because we want to make ourselves warm and cozy. For me they’re a form of beauty we bring into our lives every day; but not only that – they’re our means to express ourselves, our stances, moods, ideas, even power positions and dominance. Clothes are much like cinema, or paintings, or music – the final product, the final piece is an expression of an idea, of a concept. And, on the person who wears and combines it, each piece can become a whole new concept, or a prolongation of the previous idea. But, clothes are also a business, a major industry, an addiction of a kind. And we take the meanings and concepts, the narratives attached to individual pieces or brands too seriously sometimes. We take almost for granted that we can – if we really try, invest enough, combine colours enough, and – yes! – shop enough – re-invent ourselves from scratch, add something to our own identity in layers, changing our moods and characters with our appearance, re-defining our ‘place of belonging’ through our visual identity. And to an extent, we can. But to know where the limit is between expressing yourself and finding yourself anew all over again through everything you take in and let out from yourself, on the one hand, and simply taking the pre-created little niches, fitting into the pre-defined models that are being sold to us as desirable (not only in fashion, but also in art, literature, cinema – there is always something that’s ‘desirable’ at the moment, even if it is not ‘mainstream’), on the other, is hard. And it is even harder if you are young (at heart), and uncertain of where you belong. So my challenge, and the reason why I have taken upon the diet, would be to give myself time to think about two things. One is, how do I want to express myself? What do I really need for that, what should I look like, how do I find my own ways to re-invent myself and ‘show’ myself without the constant craving for ‘the new’ – what is constant to me, and what changes, and how do I channel these things about myself successfully? The other: once fashion becomes a bit more distanced from me, once I’ve tied my hands, I want to pay more attention to other things that define me: the books, the travels, the arts, the visuals…I want to buy a camera, and try capturing other people’s expressions through clothing, instead of focusing so much on mine, constantly thinking how to ‘upgrade’ them. I want to re-think my criteria on beauty, values and things that are relevant to me, and freeing myself from the unnecessary ‘weights’ is, it seems, a good place to start And not just with the clothes – I want to start being more aware of what I buy of cosmetics, what scents I want to keep around me, what ethical criteria is relevant to me, and how I can incorporate all those things in my everyday life.
So, going on a ‘diet’ is basically the same as taking some time off to think. Think about things important to me, and those I can live without. And so far it isn’t hard at all – I am enjoying it tremendously, and feeling good
Loading ...
Very profound. I could not have said it better. Gald to have you on the blog!
Yeah, I am good with playing with words and spending money
)))
I hope I’ll manage to get myself to post regularly 
)))
Thanks! And thank you for having me
hmmm… very interesting. I love what you said about the first question you want to answer for yourself: “…how do I want to express myself? What do I really need for that, what should I look like, how do I find my own ways to re-invent myself and ‘show’ myself without the constant craving for ‘the new’?” That makes so much sense. Once this diet is over (and, knock wood, my husband and I are gainfully employed again!) I hope to have come up with some good answers to those questions as well… I guess I’d better get thinkin’!
Brilliant, as usual. My dear friend.