You see, the hole in the heel of my Converse started small. It was one of those little, nagging things that doesn’t bother you much in the beginning, like a small thread dangling from your shirt hem. However, after a few months the hole expanded, overtaking the tattered heel of my shoe. The laces loosened and lost their taut strength, and the soles cracked beyond repair. Now I realize I need to buy new shoes, even if I avoid it like the plague.
At first I was completely resistant to the idea of any new clothing. “Absolutely NO handbags, NO accessories, and definitely NO shoes,” I exclaimed in manifesto. But realizing my sole pair of sneakers were on their last leg (pun totally intended), I wrote them into my personal apparel diet rule-book: “One pair of shoes may come in if another goes out”.
Of course, I really didn’t understand the state of affairs in my closet in January the same way I do now. I’ve never been a shoe or bag hoarder. In fact, at this moment I possess three pairs of heels, a pair of flat knee-high boots, and my dying Converse. Upon making this realization, I felt like a bewildered animal who just noticed she hasn’t saved enough food to make it through the winter and realized if I was going to make it through the year, through the rain and snow, I was going to need to buy shoes.
Now I’ve gone and made my purchases, and though it may have taken me more than a month (and a little more money than I would like to spend) to find the perfect pair of walking shoes, I’ve learned a couple new facts in the process. Flat-soled shoes, along with courier bags, are not clothing, they’re school supplies, and taking time to focus on quality is going to carry me a lot further than being a cheapskate in denial. In fact, if I’m going to walk my campus and neighborhood through the seasons without the shoes wearing away from my very feet, I’m going to have to acknowledge my needs when they arise without resorting to self-deprivation.
Loading ...
An excellent post – I was actually about to write something similar myself, although I have not made any purchases yet, because I – unfortunately in this case – didn’t have to. My case was a tiny bit different, tho: I am currently unemployed, and have been having a hard time looking for a job; but recently I actually managed to get to my first (in 8 months!) job interview; it was for a very formal, market-oriented company, and for a while I actually thought I might end up getting a job. But then I realized I have a problem: even for the interview, I had literally nothing to wear!
No, it is not that I don’t have any clothes – I do own probably less than most women, but I have a closet full at least. But when it comes to formal clothing, I’ve got literally nothing. My only suit trousers fell apart not so recently, and since for the past years I’ve either studied or worked in rather informal environments (or both simultaneously), I never really had the need for shirts, suits, black trousers and jackets. Even shoes are an issue – I have a couple pairs of old sneakers and some satin ballerinas, and a pair of Doc Martens’ for the cold – but even slightly formal shoes I just don’t own. In my mind, I never really needed any of those things – and the perspective of suddenly having to wear them all meant only one thing: I would have to go shopping if the job had actually worked out, because my one pair of jeans, some tulle skirts and neon yellow dresses wouldn’t get me far, even if I really tried…
Eventually, I ended up not getting the job – but the thought of the possibility of having to, instead of wanting to, buy clothes did stick with me. And no doubt I will go through my ‘clothes stock’ to see if I have anything that could count as formal if the need arises, but the fact remains that, if at some point I do find myself in the situation of buying formal trousers, I will not think of it as ‘cheating’ on my diet, but as of something that needs to be done. And, in all honesty, I won’t be enjoying it much either – I much much prefer sticking to my principles, as well as wearing informal clothes…
Tabatha – I love when you wrote: “I felt like a bewildered animal who just noticed she hasn’t saved enough food to make it through the winter.”! Boy do I feel like that sometimes when I go in my closet knowing that I’ve taken on the TGAAD challenge!
And, Tamara – Love your comments above… I am in the process of doing TGAAD WHILE food dieting, WHILE trying to find employment… NOT an ideal combination! I think the need for decent interview clothing and then (fingers crossed) WORK clothing may impede my ability to stay true to TGAAD. Good luck with your continued job search… keep us posted!
I feel you…the day after I sent the email to join TGAAD, I found a hole in the heels of my favorite black flats. One hole in each shoe, on the fabric parts, not the sole. I mourned for a while — they’ve been my standby shoes for over 2 years for both work and casual — but then I realized I already had another pair of black flats in my shoe stash. Not nearly as comfortable, but they’ll do. If those get unbearable though, I think it’ll be okay to replace them. I don’t think of TGAAD as an exercise in torture or denial, but an exercise of self-control and learning to be happy with what I have.