Since I started not shopping, the beginning of January in Munich ( a short time for many of you!) I simply am happier. This happiness in fact is a bit scary. I’m not feel obligated to “check out” a store, I happen to pass and I don`t have to think about what to buy and exhaust myself with these “important” decisions. A bit frightening how much time I normally spent on doing something that supposingly makes me happy (I do get a rush if I find something “great”, or if something is especially hard to get, I’m, e.g. falling for the H&M method of producing a limited designer edition and end up buying overprized sold-out H&M clothes on ebay (!) that are not flattering me even ) – and then, when I give up what I seemed to have enjoyed and spent so much life-time with, I feel so much better. This is the pattern of an addiction and reminds me of giving up smoking years ago.
What I find interesting that the same seems to be true for surfing the internet. Surfing the internet for hours leaves me with the same unfulfilled exhaustion, my head brimming, but still I keep on checking emails and answering them. And of course, I can spent hours on etsy, which is one of the better stores certainly, but shopping and internet often comes together for me and when I read other comments on this site about how hard it is for some to ignore email discount offers by their favorite stores, I don´t seem to be the only one, where internet and shopping is closely linked. But also answering emails and the constant availability and reachability because of my mobile makes me unhappy as much as I use it and seem to enjoy it. I spend time answering emails to people I kind of like instead of spending time with the people I love. I’m forced to answer emails and then lured into checking out websites I don`t want to see to begin with. I lose control here a bit in the same way that I lose control when bombarded with shopping opportunities. Sometimes I feel I’m googeling my live away (and shopping while doing it). So I decided to also go on an internet diet, which is almost harder for me, but it really helps the shopping diet for me. I must admit, I have shopped quite a bit online for my cute little baby girl and my two boys since I started, which is just an outlet for a shopping addiction it seems. So my new goal is to stop doing this as well. And what helps me with this is the internet diet. Because my goal in doing the “shopping diet” is to really gain maximum time from refraining from shopping and not ending up spending so much time thinking about clothing instead of buying it. So I limit my online time to two hours a day and try to get to one hour. And, most importantly, I am not allowed to “check out something real quick” while in front of my computer, I also don`t “just quickly book the swimming class for my son” while there or click on the new “j.crew offer” (or the German equivalent). I have a big sheet of paper next to me, writing down what comes to mind that needs to be done online, while I do the actual task at hand. I don´t know, maybe for other people, where internet and shopping are also connected, they might find it helpful to try to take control of their online time as well. Anyway, I’m so glad and thankful Sally started this and spent so much time organizing this, because not-shopping seems to be easier than refraining from senseless online time so far, because I vowed to do it and I’m not alone in doing it. Thank you!
Amen, Julia! I could not agree with you more that shopping and internet surfing share that “time suck” element. Indeed, limiting both should be a great way to live a more purposeful life–every second of every day. I might just join you in an “internet diet” too!
Totally agree. I have been on this diet without even realizing it for the past year. Being unemployed made it sooooo easy to not shop. But instead, I committed to doing more exercise, eat healthier and blog about my journey. And guess what? In the process, I lost 25 lbs last year and was able to fit into clothes that I had not been able to wear for years. It felt like l had a new wardrobe. I still have 35 more pounds to go and still have plenty of clothes in my closet that I will be excited about fitting into.
I totally connected when you said, “I spend time answering emails to people I kind of like instead of spending time with the people I love. I’m forced to answer emails and then lured into checking out websites I don`t want to see to begin with.” How true that is for me too. You have inspired me to go on an Internet diet as well… I still have to figure out what limits I’m going to set for myself so that it’s do-able and realistic, but I think it’s a fabulous idea… Thanks for this post!
Dear Julia, you did something great and you have now all my respect!
You described the processes so good I had to identify myself with what you wrote. You know? I spend really thousands hours in front of the PC checking and checking for some grat deals. And I usually buy great deals but it is never enough, furthermore I love to know that I always did the best bought comparing it with my friends. Reading your post I realized I have a problem. I suspected it but I never admitted I was a real shopaholic. I mean, I do not exceed that much, I never paid more than 80-90 $ for clothes, and also for a bag or shoes I remain on that amount. But I spend little amounts almost every couple of days! I live in Germany and here there are continuosly great delas, life is cheap, renting as well, and at the supermarket you do not spend so much money. So – having a good job with a good salary – I actually CAN spend my money as I want and still spare a lot. When I was a student I paid my fees and therefore I had to work and spare. I never bought an expensive dress or a necklace or whatever just because I fancied it. I know that’s a simple excuse, because it’s not only about shopping, but rather about the time I spend surfing: it’s time I do not share with my gorgeous boyfriend and my little sweet dog. I sacrifice my hobbies like sewing and cooking that would make me feel more relaxed and SOCIAL, they would relight my head, not like shopping, which is so stressing and exhausting! Thanks for your post, I just decided to stop it beginning from now! The first thing I will do is to unsubscribe from all those outlets and newsletter…and stop checking offers!Wish me good luck! =)
So true. Since I decided to stop shopping, I feel lighter. I still receive some clothing-related newsletters – I use them to collect patterns and ideas for sewing.
So I think this diet worked. I opened a savings account and transferred money I would normally spend on another pair of shoes or black&white shirt/dress. I’m curious to see how much there will be in September.
(My guess is – enough for a weekend in Paris.)
The other day I was in the city, and I had to wait for an hour to get something done. It’s freezing cold here, so I went into few shops to warm myself. I looked at clothes and shoes and realized that they don’t attract me much. I found a flaw in everything I looked, thinking how my closet contains nicer things.
But it isn’t so easy to log out. I collaborate in a project that includes lots of emails and Facebook presence. But as soon as it finishes, I’ll reduce this time as well and go gardening. And I’m also quite bored at work, so internet is my playground.
The general plan is to find another job and start working on my hobbies again, which includes sewing, so I’ll have new clothes without shopping (the fabric is stacked in my closet).
I’m looking forward to stuff-free months ahead.
Thank you so much for all the comments. I think that is great with the sewing, Kem! I have bought in the past the nicest fabrics for making a quilt (have never done it before ) and again it ended up being just a dream that I “shopped” instead of sitting down doing it. I should now be able to find the time and will post a photo if I manage.
My internet diet: that is difficutl for me, too. I love the internet for many reasons (for example: this site!) and I don`t want to stop all surfing and visiting fun sites, because I enjoy that. However, hopefully, if I don`t do it “in between”, but allow myself do do surfing for a limited time (and then I can do anything) I hope to not get sucked into too many stupid things and experience that feeling of surfing on and on and then being frustrated, where my time went. But hey, I wish it was easier, yesterday I ended up looking at cute baby clothes and then, after reading this blogg (!) where some women admited to have cheated on bluefly, I visited bluefly, which does not even ship to Germany and is a total waste of time! However, I enjoy looking at things, too, so looking is fun for me and inspiring, but I want to make it a truly joyful experience and not one, which steals so much time that I end up being unhappy. I hope I will find the right way.