San Francisco came and went in a flurry of unauthorized restaurant experiences. The outfits worked out fine in that they were limited to three plus pajamas.
1. Joe’s Jeans…the old standby. With black, kitten heels, a cute black top and light pink blazer which sounds both boring and like a bad idea but even my garment savvy lunch date (the aforementioned fit model) admired.
2. The dinner. Pulled a cute black dress out of the depths of the closet. It has a cinched waist and a rather “voluminous” skirt. More on that later but the outfit was a big success. That is if you don’t count my dad’s first comment upon seeing me which was, “Why did you cut your hair like that??” Family.
3. Sweats for the long walk to the extraordinary, newly opened California Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park. I didn’t think my city could surprise me at this level anymore but she didn’t let me down. After enjoying the sights, the cafe was a panoply of international delights. When the Chinese kid working the counter sees you eyeing the pork buns in a rather unholy manner and says, “These are GREAT pork buns!” you know your day just got a whole lot better.
I made the mistake of switching back to my black dress for the flight back to Orange County. I was patting myself on the back for remembering to check the weather and finding out that it was 92 degrees at home before putting my jeans back on!
I got to the airport with an hour to go before the flight and thought I was making it through the security line in good time when my outfit sabotaged me!
I got my liquids out, got my shoes off, removed my watch and metal bracelet and glided through the metal detector only to have the fetus on the other end (how old do you have to be to get hired by TSA anyway?!) tell me that I needed a secondary search. “Really? Why?” His answer surprised even a veteran traveller and cynic like myself–”Your dress is voluminous.” Again, really? Meanwhile my purse etc goes through the x-ray machine and is sitting at the end of the conveyor belt WAITING for someone to walk away with it and the watch that Jim gave me right before I delivered the twins!
“Female assist-no danger!” Yes, that my was TSA fetus bellowing for all to hear that he needed a woman to pat me down and I wasn’t likely to assault him anytime soon. How wrong the young can be….
There were probably 5 women in the TSA mosh pit behind the x-ray machine. They all found a way to look REALLY busy as he continued to call for a female assist. I wondered when he’d change the “no danger” line to “danger, and I mean it!” I was getting angrier by the nano-second.
Finally one of the TSA (anyone wonder why it stands for thousands standing around??) women deigned to assist her colleague in examining my aforementioned voluminous dress.
Now, I like being groped as much as the next gal but to have it done in the International wing of the San Francisco airport in full view of one hundred of my closest strangers is not my idea of a ripping good time.
Finally, finally she was through. I collected my belongings and what was left of my dignity and gave the fetus a last scathing glance as I marched towards my gate.
Thankfully I had had the good sense to bring my husband home one of his favorite San Francisco treats–a burrito from Gordo’s Taqueria. I didn’t think he’d mind if I assuaged my irritation with a little sustenance so, even though Weight Watchers thinks it’s contra-indicated, I had to eat that burrito and man, was it good!
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Funny. I love those burritos but how did your dress fit after you ate it? S
Cin, that is quite a story… please post a photo of that amazing dress, and the rest of us can figure out other things you could smuggle within its copious skirts. (P.S. your trip to S.F. sounds fantastic.)
God bless you people who think I am a secret skirt smuggling terrorist! It just adds a little fun drama to a life filled with ridiculous drama! Will attempt to post a picture of the dress asap.
Okay, am just now checking these comments after a flu induced hiatus. I will get a photo of the dress as soon as I can find someone to take a picture of me!!