After all this time I thought I had a shopping problem when in fact closet inertia is what I really suffer from. It’s hard to medicate the problem if you have the wrong diagnosis. If I have learned one thing this year about me it is that I have no imagination when I step into my poorly lit, over packed, closet. Upon entry, I look around at the sea of black, navy and a few bright pops and draw the immediate conclusions, “my wardrobe sucks” and “I have nothing to wear.”
How can that be, when a girl’s closet is full? As we all know having a closet full of clothes doesn’t stop one from wanting to shop and buy more. But my impetus for shopping has never been rooted in the need to hoard clothes; instead shopping taps into my need to be inspired and to look inspired.
Allow me to explain. My shopping instincts are strongest when I simply don’t have the energy to “shop my closet,” which is most of the time. It takes work. When I walk into a store like Anthropologie a talented fashion merchandiser has already put the outfits together on the wall or in the window so it’s easy to imagine myself in a great new “look.” Invariably, when shopping I will find something new that instantly makes me feel excited. And with the help of the well trained sales person I am always reassured of my need to spice things up. But when I shop my closet the only fashion muse I can rely on for inspiration is me and my preoccupied, rushed self. It takes time (alone time, no kids, no husbands) to look through what I have in my wardrobe, it takes creativity to mix and match items, and it takes the desire to imagine how various items pair with footwear and accessories. There is no high, no rush and simply no entertainment in that small space next to my bed. It’s much harder to shop my closet than it is to jump in the car, pay for parking, run up the escalator to my favorite store, try a few things on, pay and be done.
This past year without the convenience or excuse to shop I have been forced to wear what I own. This has lead to a decreased interest in how I look (though no one seems to notice, or they are not telling me). I have resorted to a uniform of sorts that is, quite frankly, boring and uninspired but much easier than my daily outfits before the diet.
So what am I going to do to remedy my closet inertia as I prepare to shop again? First off, I could use a bay of store windows lining my closet. Second I could employ my own stylist, one who makes house calls. Third I could hire an intern to take scrupulous inventory because the thought of that bores me to tears. None of these ideas are realistic or affordable though. I read somewhere about a women who solves her own closet confusion by photographing various outfits and versions of outfits that she puts together from her closet and then referencing them when it’s time to get dressed in the morning—sounds like work to me.
Tonight I was with my friend Portia who has been contemplating going on this diet for 11 months now. I told her that I have decided to extend the diet for one more year, in light of the fact that there have been so many people interested in joining the effort in the past few weeks (here we go again). When I told Portia it wasn’t too late to realize the benefits of clothing deprivation she hooped and hollered “That’s what I need, a closet colonic.” The visual made me gag. She went on to claim, “Deep within my big, fat, bloated walk-in closet there is a skinny one begging to be free.” Portia, warming to the idea, is going to “think about it,” before she commits. Let me be clear…I am not doing this for another year myself but I will moderate, facilitate, contemplate and write about life post diet. 
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