The Great American Apparel Diet

no buying for one year

Hey guys, I would like to introduce you to Lois, our newest member of TGAAD.  Lois stumbled upon our blog while at the clog party with her best friend Julie from Show Pony.  She thinks going on the diet is going to be easy for her.  I think the reasons for her confidence are self explanatory. 

Julie, on accident, left Lois at my house after the party.  Lois  held court on our kitchen counter for five days.  My son dressed her in a sponge bob hat and claimed that she was “super creepy.”  My husband begged me to send Lois home, he didn’t like her personality.  He said he thought she was too quiet and he felt judged when she stared at him.  I don’t know, I kind of liked having Lois around—another woman to talk to in a house full of boys.  Anyway, yesterday after a lot of pressure from my family I returned Lois to Julie at Showpony.  It was a sad goodbye.  We hugged in the car and promised to stay in touch via the blog.  We both cried. 

And that’s when things really got interesting. 

Upon entering Show Pony (the cutest little store in all of Seattle) Lois whispered, “Look at all the amazing new clothes Julie has.”  My instincts were to slap her…such a temptress.  But I  didn’t dare do that within eye or earshot of the sales girl behind the counter.  I had no idea Lois could be such a bitch (you never really know anyone do you?).  Anyway, I told the sales woman that I was returning Lois.  She was excited to have her back in the store,  (I suspect it gets lonely without Lois around to talk to when things get slow).  I handed Lois to her and she set her on the counter, put a hat on her head and scarf around her neck.  Lois was transformed.  See what a few accessories can to do to a girl? I have to say, Lois looked amazing.   The hat was purple,  her color.

Of course, I couldn’t leave the store without touching some of the latest and greatest apparel on the racks.  But every time I stopped to ponder a new silhouette Lois screeched ….”Buy it!”  “You have to have it!”  “I won’t tell the other girls on the blog.”   “Do it!”  Lois was becoming Bride of Chuckie. “It will look fabulous on you,” she hissed.   It was a little like being in AA and having your best friend tell you to “chug it.”  Where’s the empathy? 

I was mad at first but then I realized Lois is just angry.  And that’s o.k.  We can’t all be perfect.   Perhaps this taunting is her way of getting back at the universe for just giving her a head, neck and décolletage.  I think we as a group can help her through that. 

But wow, if she’s angry now wait till she sees Stephanie’s body in a leotard.  

Can you all join me in welcoming Lois?  Welcome Lois!  We are looking forward to reading your blogs.

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