Yes, it is official. I wear nothing but sweats. Okay, let me clarify. I wear nothing but sweats for the first half of the day until I get my workout in. You got it-no shower (why bother, I am only going to sweat on my clean hair,) generally no make-up (ibid) and lots of deoderant–you hope. My normal clothing budget is made up of about 30% gym clothes which I usually spend at Lucy. In fact, the last few Christmases my Christmas list has looked something like this:
1. Anything cute from Lucy
2. Gym socks that aren’t white.
I have generally not been too disappointed except this past year I received 23 pairs of gym socks. I’m not saying this is a BAD thing because I’ll never need to ask again BUT all my mom could remember when she was at Lucy was, “I know she said SOMETHING about white socks so I’ll get her ten pairs!” Way to go Mom.
I don’t know how I’ll handle the holidays this year since I can’t put out a list per se. If I could, it would look something like this:
1. Workout bras. Please!
2. Anything cute for working out in because this shit ain’t cutting the mustard and that stubborn ten pounds doesn’t want to budge! I need more encouragement!! (Thank God I live in Southern Califonia now because I can take advantage of the old adage, “If you can’t tone it, tan it.”
I have, however, been making a concerted effort to clean up in the afternoons. So far, so good. I even got a comment from the plumber at my job site the other day–”You look so professional…and your legs are shiny. Are you wearing nylons?” Okay, maybe it wasn’t a compliment but if a guy turns beet red after saying something, I’m guessing he over-shared and I am going to take it as a positive affirmation of my lavender oil choice!!
Here’s where the rubber meets the road though Ladies. I am going to San Francisco tomorrow and the day’s agenda is as follows:
1. Coffee with Mom and her 6 high school buddies who are vacationing at my mom’s two bedroom apartment for the week. No fashion worries there-as long as my waistband isn’t elastic, they’ll think I am fabulous!
2. Lunch with my beautiful frenemy Maureen. She is a fit model which means that she is the “perfect size 8.” This is why clothes at Gap, Banana, Victoria’s Secret, Levi etc never fit me. A perfect size 8 is 5′10″ (my dry cleaner thanks her for all of the hemming work) with big boobs and weighs less than me!! The clothing choices for this meal are giving me indigestion.
3. Dinner with my dad and aforementioned fit model. We are going to Dosa (fabulous nouvelle Indian cuisine if there is such a thing.) This outfit must work after our earlier massages which means showering at the spa and getting ready all over again-I’m tired and I’m not even there yet!!
Any advice???
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Say “hi” to your Mom and Maureen for me!! Yes, you Californians are making us want to throw up here in Seattle with talk on Facebook about boogie boarding at the beach, while we have to turn up the heat, baby!!
I have not seen Ibid in print in a loooong time…hilarious post my dear! I say go all black and claim you are just back from NYC.
This is hilarious!! I cannot wait to hear how you handled the day. Please fill us in on every detail.
IR