The Great American Apparel Diet

no buying for one year

Hi. I went to a play reading last night at Solo Bar on Roy street. The group New Century Theater Company put on a play reading, and all the cute actresses showed up to watch the event in their outfits. I noticed that the trend was a little dress, above the knee, leggings and boots. Kind of like back in 1989 when I first moved here! Minus the Doc Martins. Anyway….I started hankering for this look. I have the leggings. But, no little dress. I stared to feel so bad that I didn’t have the little dress. There is a store called Queen Anne Dispatch by my shop, and on my break I went in. I tried on 8 little dresses. One of the owners was there, she knew I was on this diet. She said “won’t Sally be mad at you?” Well, I just saw Sally. She laughed and said someone in the group said I was constantly cheating. Hey, this is only four times! Yes, this is the fourth time. I got a little navy tunic by Trinity. It was on sale, too! Only $42.00. Am I the biggest cheater? Or am I the only one who confesses????

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Dilemma: I spilled some noxious chemical last week (too much to get into here, no bodily injuries were sustained). However, I got it on my clothes, some of my FAVORITE clothes. Nothing terribly fabulous or lovely, but I wear them all the time – Prana yoga pants, SmartWool sweater (can you say “machine washable wool?”) and my BearPaw boots. Like I said, nothing terribly special, I mean BearPaws are Ugg wannabes!

This is KILLING me. Do I replace? Do I sacrifice and go without? Just where does damaged clothing due to a toxic spill fit into this whole gig? Isn’t the whole point to sacrifice?!?

I am very committed to this whole she-bang and have not cheated or even thought of cheating (so far).

So, I haven’t decided what to do. (I should mention that when I signed up, I opted to include shoes in my sacrifice. Seemed like the right thing to do at the time. But I’m not so sure anymore.)

Part of me is seeking blessings and approvals from you all, but part of me needs to just figure it out on my own. Just where do I stand on giving myself permission to “cheat” because of this loss I feel for something as materialistic as clothing? Or am I making too much out of this?

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We are well into March and I am still “abstinent”!  About a year ago I carefully packed up my winter sweaters—oh, yes, cashmere and cables; sumptuous silks and feminine flounces.  I have yet to find this box of sweaters.  I survived this season with one sweater that remained behind as a Spring chill “back-up”.  I used some jackets, blazers and I overused the one sweater I could find.

But the outcome of the equation is that one can survive a season with but one sweater.  I will have the entire summer to seek out the missing box.

I’m doing better–it’s been a long time since I cruised E-bay or Zappo’s or various other on-line sources.  I cannot quite give up looking at catalogues but I resist.  I am increasingly stunned by my own virtue and wonder just who was that person who “needed” scarves by Hermes (and then did not want to spoil them so never wore them!)

I hope everyone else is thriving.

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Okay, I thought I was just going to log in and just write about a success and go to bed, however it sounds like I am going to write a little bit more. So, I just read about two dieters that quit and boy can that be discouraging for us newbies. I want to something I just learned tonight in my addictions class for all us that are new to the diet. Relapse is to be expected when you are trying to kick the habit. Understand I am not saying that you should expect to fail but that we are going to it just means that we need to recognize that it can happen and we need to recognize the triggers and come up with ways to deal with the urge to buy that new dres. Believe me I so badly wanted to stop on my way home from class and buy myself something new because I had stayed up most of the night writing a paper and usually when I accomplish a task that gets me one step closer to my goal, I want to myself something new to wear.
I was like Pavlov’s dog salivating because the paper was done and I was thinking I’m one less paper away from my Master’s Degree and I deserve a little sumthin sumthin from one of my favorite clothing stores. Then I reminded myself, I am on a diet!

So, as I was driving home tonight and feeling tempted to stop at the mall, I decided to identify my triggers and one of them is that DSW, the mall and Marshall’s are all on my way home from class. It made me realize that I need a new route and that I definitely needed to come up with a different type of reward system.

I know I’m new to the diet but I also want to encourage other newbies like myself because it helps me to stay on track.

I am not expecting to relapse but I know it’s a possibility. Because I am so committed to this diet I am paying attention to the triggers and I am realizing and learning that there is a whole group of supportive people on this site that will help to get me back on track.

Maybe at some point they (the two who left) will come back. Is that possible Sally? Can they rejoin?

Thank You for the welcome! I am very close to celebrating my 1-week anniversary! As we say in the Army, HOOAH!

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sample screenshot from ThredUp Kids web site

Although I’ve written previously about not having an excess of clothing in MY closet, the same cannot be said for my kids.  Having thoughtful friends and family with kids a bit larger than my own has assured that both of my boys have plenty of great-looking hand-me-downs filling their drawers and closets.  Unfortunately, my boys keep growing (pesky kids!).  But buying lots of new clothes just isn’t in the budget right now.  I’m sure I know plenty of people in the same boat, so I’m thinking some clothing exchanges may be in order… kind of a modified version of TGAAD for kids.

Coordinating exchanges amongst lots of different people with various aged kids can be a challenge, though, so I’m going to try using ThredUp for kids to accomplish this task.  Those of you with growing children may be interested in giving it a shot too.  I know some of us have blogged about the ThredUp adult version not working out for some, but I’ve decided to give the kids’ site a go.

One thing I like about the kids’ version is that they will even coordinate swaps with your LOCAL friends for you at no cost.  You can browse online to see what items & sizes your friends have available and grab them when you want… no need to pay for shipping!  However, if you don’t have any local friends with whom to swap, ThredUp will have a nationwide network of participants sure to have clothing that suits your needs.

If the concept interests you, click here to find out more about their upcoming seed phase.  The seed phase (which will populate ThredUp with clothing to prepare the site for launch) should begin in early March and anyone who signs up for the launch will be the first on board.  Participating in the initial seed phase also has perks and benefits not available to the general population.

Happy swapping, everyone… I’m looking forward to hearing how this works out for people!

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This thing called the recession really helped put some things in perspective for me. Things that are all invariably linked. My husband lost his job last April and we had a 4 mo. old at the time so we have cut back in a lot of ways. Andrew is since working, but at a fraction of his previous salary. So, we’ve had to undergo some belt tightening. But, really and truly, we still have plenty. You could cut what we have in 1/2 and it’s still more than enough.

I am thinking about gluttony. Not just by me (although I do my fair share) but by the culture of America that I grew up with. I am, on a personal level, trying to figure out why I have this slightly on edge, slightly restless feeling when I’m not shopping. All day today, I wanted to surf the web to browse for the latest clothes (even though I can’t buy them) and just now I was about to enter in the url to Eddie Bauer when I entered in GAD’s instead. Whew. Saved for now. But I’ve had an itch to buy… which is maybe why I surfed the web this morning looking for fleece jammies for my son (didn’t buy b/c I didn’t like any), and then later purchased a confirmation gift & a wedding gift, and then paid some bills, and then surfed around aimlessly at amazon.com and paper-source.com (two of my favorite places but still didn’t buy anything)… Where am I going with this? Even though I’m not buying clothing, the urge to shop hasn’t left me. I’ve gone cold turkey by avoiding the malls, unsubscribing from the ads from companies in my email, etc, etc… and yet I’m still dying to go shopping! I think this same urge translates over to food…

I know that mind over matter should rule… but it’s a very well matched battle indeed.

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Last year I made the choice to stop purchasing new clothes, and this year I have chosen not to purchase any clothes at all. So far, so good. In fact, I don’t even miss the endless, mindless shopping and I’ve decided to put my saved cash toward something fun, my first vacation in 5 years. My husband and I chose to head out to Park City, Utah for some pretty intense snowboarding. We traveled with friends to keep the expense down, but really enjoyed ourselves and I’m so glad that I had the opportunity to go. My three lifestyle changes that I have implemented have made the trip possible. No smoking, means that I could still breathe and be active at 11,000+ feet, getting up early and working out prepared me for four straight days of hardcore riding, and the money that I didn’t spend on clothes helped to fund the trip. I finally feel unencumbered, rather than just sacrificing by participating.

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With all the scandals tainting clothing retailers recently, could simply not shopping for clothes solve all our woes? Making an appearance on BBC News this morning, British fashion designer (and one of our favorite dames) Vivienne Westwood encouraged viewers to give up shopping for at least six months—unless they absolutely had to—to keep our landfills from filling up. Do you agree?

via Ecouterre

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I recently “unsubbed” to the multifarious apparel companies who had contrived to get into my email inbox.  Adios, J. Jill.  Adieu, LL Bean.  Auf Wiedersehen to Land’s End.  Ciao, Bloomingdale’s.    Arrivederci, Macy’s.  Most of all, an enormous Valete to all of those luxury bags and scarves mailings. But I was not emotionally equipped for the actual physical presence of a catalogue.  Many hawkers of clothing have abandoned the traditional catalogue.  My response to these catalogues is like a child at Hallowe’en.  I want to consume them all.  I may be a stern critic of advertising and its emotional grip on people intellecutally–but emotionally these catalogues are like poetry.  And art.  Sort of like my own interior Louvre.  And for someone who has been starved by the diminishment of the effluvia of catalogues in the mail, any new thing will do. So I had a heroic struggle with a Land’s End catalogue.  I was sucked into the visually alluring pictures of little Mary Jane T-Strap shoes in 50 colors, mostly neon.  If I only have 38 tee-shirts, I must be in need of several more.  What if the washing machine breaks down and all the laundromats in thw world disappear and I run out of clothes?  Shouldn’t I stock up on easy, casual, Land’s End wear? It was a Herculeon battle, but I thought of my GAAD and the catalogue found its way into the Recycling box where its clarion cries will be in vain.

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Last night I was out with a good friend I haven’t seen in a while—it’s a schedule issue really.  My friend, she’s fabulous.  She’s married, no kids, big corporate VP job with all the accolades, notoriety and wardrobe that go along with the job.  She picked me up wearing a chic skirt, which later I learned she bought in London while on a four-city whirl wind business trip.  She had on the latest laced knee high boots and a super snappy pancho that she could pull over her head when she felt a drop of rain. 

Flash to me, older mom barely holding it together and deprived of a “new wardrobe.”  For a living?  Well, I manage to piece together a paycheck as I toggle from home to the office to school.  I am not above taking conference calls from the bedroom closet, (lest my clients detect that I am home with kids and two rambunctious cats), or writing marketing plans in the doctor’s office or from the bleachers of a baseball game.

I greet my friend at the door wearing the same jeans I have been wearing for the last 5 days (and by the way they have gotten a little baggy from the wear which somehow makes me feel thin).   Under last year’s black wrap-around sweater coat I wear a stained oatmeal colored crewneck sweater that has seen better days.   On my feet I wear my favorite pair of black Dansko clogs because everything else just hurts.  The good news is I have a fresh application of lipstick on . The bad news?  it’s  all the makeup I have on.  Upstairs, before the doorbell rang, I gave myself a cursory glance in the floor length mirror that hangs behind the closet.  I could have sworn I looked good, but once I see my friend on the doorstep it becomes painfully clear that I do not.

My friend smells good.  She has her fancy rings on her fingers and the latest watch on her wrist.  I notice her bling as I reach up to my ear and realize I forgot to put my earrings on all together. My friend says she had to “Escape from work.” In her words, “They will just have to move forward without me.”  I long to be in such hot demand from someone taller than my shoulder.  My friend told her people that she had a prior commitment and had to leave the office early.  No corporate mukety muck would understand the point of going out with a girlfriend at 5:30pm on a Monday night.  But my babysitter has a curfew and I have to be home by 10pm at the very latest.  This is standard operating procedure for me and my mommy friends who are often buzzed by 7pm and in bed by 10pm. 

When I am with my friend sans children and the big career I feel like The Great American Apparel Diet is stupid.  Like I have set myself up for frumpsville.  I feel like my career of juggling kids, a business and the occasional trip to the gym is just an excuse for a distracted and sometimes unattractive scattered existence.   What I wear is a long way down the  list of things I worry about these days, partially because I have taken up the new and brave effort to consciously consume or simply to not consume.  Seeing my friend makes me want to go to Barneys and spend like Katie Holmes.  I am moved to buy things that I know I will hate in a year, clothes that are conspicuously fashionable and expensive and well beyond my credit line.  I want clothing that says “she’s a risk taker!”   Clothes can do that you know. 

My fashionable and important, high profile friend and I  had a good time noshing on sushi and sipping saki. We skipped the movie in lieu of conversation and caramelized bananas.   I eventually forgot what I was wearing and I stopped coveting my friend’s outfit.  We discussed cancer, death and dying.  We talked about her and her husband’s effort to adopt a child, about my ever changing career and the shifting sands of the advertising business. 

After dinner my friend drove me home  just in time to relieve Rachel the babysitter (before she morphed into a winter squash). We hugged in the car and promised to get together “sooner than later.”  

Inside I chatted with Rachel and paid her in cash for watching my proidgy.  As she loaded her backpack and put on her shoes she said, “Hey, I like your sweater, where’d you get it?”   It made me laugh.  “It’s from last year…Nordstrom,” I offered, knowing that she’d never find it this year and glad that someone was coveting my wardrobe.

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