The Great American Apparel Diet

no buying for one year

Just a pair of socks? Or the first step down a slippery slope?

It’s been a bad week. First, my iPhone got stolen. The shock of it didn’t really sink in for a couple of days. After investigating the options for replacing the phone, I started to realize that it was a much bigger expense than I first realized. This, after spending several days cancelling all my credit cards and changing passwords to my email accounts and mobile apps. By Monday, I started to feel really bummed out, depressed even, discouraged with people in general. Yet I had to go to Target — we were out of laundry detergent and tooth paste!

 In I walked through those sliding glass doors, to find pink hearts and sparkly shamrocks all over the place at what my husband calls the “Dollar Trap”. Immediately, I gravitated toward these pink and red heart socks, and somehow, they slipped into my shopping cart.

Okay, after my instictive grab to throw them in the basket, I realized: I’m not supposed to be buying clothes.

Give me a break! They’re one dollar! Really, with the crappy week I’ve had, it’s a miracle I’m not indulging in something far worse…

And so I debated, as I pushed the cart through the laundry and toiletry aisles. By the time I reached the check stand, I was even more irritated. The clerk in front of me was aggressively selling the man in front of me to sign up for a Target credit card. It took a really long time (especially since the man didn’t seem to speak English all too well). I even had time to run back and pick up some glue sticks I forgot… and

he

     was

          still

                fillling

                       out

                             the form…

You get it. By the time I found another — quicker — cashier, I simply didn’t care anymore. I bought the socks.

Really? This is supposed to make me happy? They’re cute and kind of fun… but did I just sell myself out — for a dollar?

 At least I didn’t get the shamrock ones, too.

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I meant to do this before I started the diet but kept forgetting..

So, I’ve just finished tallying up the amount I’ve spent on clothing, shoes & accessories for the past year. I’ve included totals from my bank account and my VISA. I’m completely SHOCKED at the amount I have spent [nearly totaling 10K] in the last 12 months. It might not seem like a lot of money to some, but to me it’s insane! That’s over $800/month that could have been going straight into my neglected savings account. But apparently, I decided at the time that it would be a much better idea to go out and buy “something new”.

Ugh…this news makes me nauseous. The worst part is; I can’t even really remember what I’ve bought! I’m sure I’ve bought some pretty dresses and such, but that money could have been put somewhere else and I really wish I had done this diet sooner.

Also, what really bothers me is I genuinely thought I was doing really well. Tapping away at my little budget…thinking I had it all together. But bank statements don’t lie. In this case I kind of wish they did though.

At least I now know, and that’s all that matters. This new found knowledge will only reinforce my good shopping behavior and I will try my best to not let it get the better of me. Learning from my mistakes; Check! Not spending money on useless items; Check! Nothing but good vibrations and happy thoughts; Check, Check! Huzzah! Starting …………………………………………………………….NOW!

Happy Not a Shopaholic Day!!!!

For previous entries, check out http://nakedsusie.blogspot.com [don’t worry, its family friendly ]

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So I will start with the good news:  Last week, I marched into my HR department at work and completed a banking form to have an additional $400 per month directly deposited from my paycheck to a joint savings account.  My husband watches this account like a hawk so there’s no getting that money back for me to mindlessly spend.  It’s as good as saved!  This is going to hurt, but when I honestly looked at my– ahem– “spending issues,” I realized that that is the amount I piddle away on a regular basis: clothes, hair stuff, magazines!  How awful!

Now the bad news: I think this would be called a “bender” by Mr. Sheen.  It all started innocently enough with my darling hubby taking our daughter out for some Saturday fun.  No sooner had they pulled out of the driveway, I got the itch.   Something came over me and I no longer cared that I would be going off the wagon.  I darted out to the stores and started shopping!  I hit my favorite outlet store and spent just under $100 on completely adorable but totally unnecessary stuff.   WHY WHY WHY?  Sometimes I am shocked at how similar a shopping addiction is to a drug addiction. It is eerie.   I mean, I was sneaking out the door the second my family was gone!  What was that all about? 

I considered returning everything today, but if I am honest, it will just make matters worse because there was actually more I could have purchased. Returning one thing will mean “exchanging” it for another.  Possibly stepping into another store.  It is pointless.   I did have a revelation when I stuffed this bag into the back of my closet:  This is why I have so many new things unworn in my closet. I am too ashamed to enjoy any of them!   I overstuff my closet with new things but then never use them because I am embarrassed and ashamed of my spending!   

Am I the only one who can’t control myself?  When is a shopping problem an addiction needing intervention?  Is there a Betty Ford clinic for people like me?  This is so sad. I am an otherwise responsible person. Really.

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I never claimed to be “normal”, that being said I will go into a brief history on my love of books. For the first seven years of my childhood we did not have tv, so I spent hours of my life scanning through pages of the books which brought me worlds away from my boring reality. I don’t want to brag, but I did win an award in elementary school for having read for the most hours than any other kid in my school (granted I did go to a small school). I can often become lost for hours in book stores, perched against shelves reading my way through countless books and magazines (the travel section is a dangerous place for me, thank you Anthony Bourdain). When updating the Reading Club books for TGAAD, I have a difficult time choosing just a couple books at a time because of the countless great books out there about shopping, fashion, and money saving tips. I’ve narrowed it down to just a couple as to not overwhelm anyone out there. The first new book I’ve added to our list is Cinderella Ate my Daughter by Peggy Orenstein, the book is a fascinating discussion of the princess culture our daughters are being brought up in and a questioning of how to best deal with this without rearing a daughter who will become the next participant on You’re Cut Off (VH1 reality show about very spoiled girls). The second book added to our list is Spent: Memoirs of a Shopping Addict by Avis Cardella, which gives us an account of the authors addiction to shopping as well as her emotional connection to purchasing, especially after experiencing the loss of her mother. So read away and enjoy!

My second topic of discussion today is that I realized I have been neglecting our conscious shopping page and thought it was perhaps best to take a moment to think about our male counterparts and give them a little help when it comes to shopping. So I’ve added a new and fabulous clothing company named Longshot Apparel to our list of conscious clothing brands! The brand is made for the tall fit man, fabrics woven in Italy, handmade in the USA! This might be a great help to some of you who still have nothing for your significant other for our upcoming Valentines Day (singles awareness day to some of us), or to pass along to that guy who just can’t ever seem to find a properly fitting shirt, because lets face it Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome is not supposed to be wearing high water jeans or a shirt that it looks like it was borrowed from his old college roommate who’s appears to be a foot shorter than him.

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It is post -holiday blues time for me. But that is no excuse for my poor showing in this important endeavor. I joined the GAAD right before Christmas and since then I have had 3 slip-ups. They all occured at the same place and under similar conditions. Maybe I can learn something by examining what led to breaking my commitment. The place: my favorite discount store. A place where designer clothes are discounted 70 to 90%. A hodge-podge of exquisite things marked down so much as to be a “steal”, and ugly, out-of-date, or slightly (or mightily) damaged monstrosities that no one would be caught dead in. I love “the hunt” – the excitement I feel looking through racks and racks of clothes looking for “the deal”. During the dead of winter there is still a line outside the store of avid shoppers waiting to get in. When I get near I feel my heart beating faster. I even got in a car accident months ago right in front of the store. I was driving recklessly while trying to find a parking spot. Every shopper knows the pitfalls of this kind of shopping. Overly excited, I have purchased clothes I have never worn, or things that do not work with my lifestyle. Designer labels(especially French and Italian) can make me choose an ill-fitting or unbecoming garment just because I think it must be fabulous. When I see that I have saved $1,259.00 (they print this out on my receipt) I feel vindicated. 90% off!  No bargain if it sits in my closet and is never worn. I always tell myself  that I can sell it on eBay if I don’t wear it, but I always end up losing time and money. It’ a self-defeating habit that I must break. Yet whenever I am in the vicinity of this particular store I find myself on auto-pilot and before I can talk myself down I am inside. Once in, I feel I have to purchase something or the trip was “a waste”. The rationalizations and excuses I make are legendary.

  So, in one month I have spent $120 despite the fact that I do not need anything except a savings account. I have purchased 2 sweaters (one of which I will never wear), 2 t-shirt dresses (practical), and a summer dress(cute but impractical).

I am a psychologist and supposedly a mature woman. I should understand an addictive behavior when I engage in one, and be able to do something about it. Alas, I have not been successful. Any ideas?

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I’m so thankful for TGAAD! Being on this diet will help me focus on the bigger picture and personal financial goals.

1. Save, save, SAVE for a down payment on a house.
2. Be financially stable. Being able to stand on my own two feet is very important to me.
3. Start a travel specific savings account. I don’t want to go into debt just to see the Eiffel Tower.

In the last year and a bit I’ve completely changed [most of] my spending habits. Sure I still lust after clothing, and It’s definitely been a little bit of a rollercoaster ride, but nonetheless, worth it. I went from online shopping pretty much every day, to cutting myself off cold turkey, budgeting down to the last penny, paying off my VISA™ [finally], saving money, falling off the wagon and binging once or twice, getting back on the not-so stable wagon, paying off my VISA again, to finding TGAAD. So it’s been a pretty bumpy ride and shopping will always be something I struggle with, but as long as I can rationalize with myself and decipher needs vs. wants, I think I will be ok.

It’s funny, I‘ll have really good days when I’ll think “I am SO done with shopping” and truly believe that I have conquered this whole ideology of wanting “things”. I love those days. Then there will be a wave of bad, oh-so-terrible, self-indulgent days where shopping controls my life and is literally all I can think about… followed by the inevitable binge; and furthermore – buyer’s remorse. Bleh.

What’s the moral of the story? Today is a really good day.

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If anybody knows that slogan, you can feel my pain.

So: There’s this gorgeous Lululemon sweater that I, ABSOLUTELY. MUST. HAVE. You know the kind; It’s a: my-life-wouldn’t-be-the-same-without-it kind of sweater… It will complete me; people will start referring to me as “the girl in the neon sweater”. BUT!!… I can’t buy it. Ughhh!! Ugghhh..bleh..blahhh..blarrrgg. If I weren’t on this diet, I would have totally snapped it up like 5 days ago. Instead, I slipped a not-so-subtle hint to the BF that if he evvverrr wants to buy me anything, this would be it; in a size 4. That’s allowed right? Rigghhtt?. ..hmm..I’m going to say: yes.

For those who aren’t aware of Lululemon, it’s a FANTASTIC store from Canada that sells all sorts of athletic wear; mainly specializing in yoga apparel and accessories. They even have men’s clothing! Not to be biased or anything, but once you go Lulu, you never go back… Their design team really knows how to make clothing that is not only technical, but figure flattering [4 way stretch is amazing], breathable, and they also have a number of organic cotton pieces, which is a great alternative for those looking to lessen their carbon footprint.

Anyhow, I’m proud of myself for not breaking down [especially this early] and not so proud of myself for whining incessantly to the BF about said sweater…

So what did I learn? I learned that I need to restrain myself from online window shopping.. Le Sigh…

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So here it is Sunday afternoon, a perfect day for shopping- NOT.  Normally, that is my routine.  I can feel the siren call of the mall.  I am being taunted by a 30% off Kohl’s coupon.  Sigh.  It’s interesting to me to see that so much of my typical day involved shopping.  Yesterday I did my grocery shopping and spent an extra long time in the cosmetics aisle.  I didn’t  buy anything, but I needed to see what was new.  I accumulate way too much STUFF!  I have to be careful not to just switch my obsession from clothing to makeup or something else (like start buying 37 bras or something LOL).  I definitely could fall into that trap.  I started sorting a few drawers to make a pile for Goodwill, but I kept removing things from the pile.  I guess that is ok. What I will do this week is wear each of the items I took back from the pile.  I will see how they make me feel.   I have a feeling, there will be a problem with each (I know one is too loose and that is why I never wear it) I’m thinking that if I force myself to wear it all day at work maybe I will recognize that I don’t love it, don’t need it and I can let go.   I shouldn’t have bought it in the first place but I rationalized it because of the price!  I have quite a few of those.  For me this is all about mindfulness. Too bad I’m out of my mind. 

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 I’m a new member of The Great American Apparel Diet and wanted to share this experience :

 I opened my door yesterday to find a plastic wrapped parcel on my front porch. Oh yeah, I almost forgot— I ordered a pair of new black yoga pants from Athleta during their after-Christmas sale. Make that two pairs (I didn’t know which size would fit me. I’ll return one of them. Really.). As I tore the package open, I realized that if all goes as planned, this will be the last time I get a new treat in the mail for a looong time. Can I go one year, without hearing that satisfying thunk on the steps and running out to find the shoes/pants/sweater I’ve been waiting for?

At Day 4, I feel pretty good about my resolution. I even managed to make a trip to Costco and walk past the stack of wool pea coats on the way to the cereal aisle. But I am waiting for the other — super cute — shoe to fall. What’s going to happen when I have a bad day, a bad week, or simply see something that would look fabulous on me (and marked down to a price I can’t pass up)?

I need to buy a few gifts and am strategizing how I can do this without walking into the lion’s den. My first thought is to go to small stores that sell only the specific type of merchandise I need, ie: a toy store for the kid’s gift, a baby boutique for the newborn gift. Instead of walking into the mall where there are landmines all over the place, there will be only certain things. Sure, I’ll pay a little more, but I’ll be supporting a local business and perhaps more importantly, supporting myself.

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I signed up yesterday and as soon as I committed I remembered that I’m getting married in February! OMG, what have I done?  I am allowing myself one major purchase, my wedding gown, and I’m promising myself to not go overboard.

I have enough clothes, shoes, socks… I counted my bras… 52, who needs 52 bras. I only wear 3-4 of them, my favorites, the ones that actually work and aren’t about sexiness. I find that the “sexy” ones are the most uncomfortable ones so I rarely wear them. And my fiance? He doesn’t really care! Shoes, I have multiple black shoes, who doesn’t? I don’t need another pair of black flats, black pumps, black stilettos, black anything. That goes for the shirts, tops, pants, skirts…

I have a spending problem, right? I seem to spend everyday, something, anything, and it’s getting out of hand. I even make up the excuse of grocery shopping as a means of spending without guilt. We have supplies, food, tableware, silverware, you name it… I have multiples. Today I had to buy candles for the New Year’s Eve dinner that we’re hosting. I didn’t really need to buy them, my friends would understand, but the table needed them! I’m slowly cleaning out my house and I’m going to have a “Free” garage sale. It’s a way for me to give back and to see the smiles and astonishment of the neighborhood as I give away my extras! It’s fun and it’s free! I’ll let you know how it’s all going, going, gone!!!

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