The Great American Apparel Diet

no buying for one year

Hi. I went to a play reading last night at Solo Bar on Roy street. The group New Century Theater Company put on a play reading, and all the cute actresses showed up to watch the event in their outfits. I noticed that the trend was a little dress, above the knee, leggings and boots. Kind of like back in 1989 when I first moved here! Minus the Doc Martins. Anyway….I started hankering for this look. I have the leggings. But, no little dress. I stared to feel so bad that I didn’t have the little dress. There is a store called Queen Anne Dispatch by my shop, and on my break I went in. I tried on 8 little dresses. One of the owners was there, she knew I was on this diet. She said “won’t Sally be mad at you?” Well, I just saw Sally. She laughed and said someone in the group said I was constantly cheating. Hey, this is only four times! Yes, this is the fourth time. I got a little navy tunic by Trinity. It was on sale, too! Only $42.00. Am I the biggest cheater? Or am I the only one who confesses????

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We are well into March and I am still “abstinent”!  About a year ago I carefully packed up my winter sweaters—oh, yes, cashmere and cables; sumptuous silks and feminine flounces.  I have yet to find this box of sweaters.  I survived this season with one sweater that remained behind as a Spring chill “back-up”.  I used some jackets, blazers and I overused the one sweater I could find.

But the outcome of the equation is that one can survive a season with but one sweater.  I will have the entire summer to seek out the missing box.

I’m doing better–it’s been a long time since I cruised E-bay or Zappo’s or various other on-line sources.  I cannot quite give up looking at catalogues but I resist.  I am increasingly stunned by my own virtue and wonder just who was that person who “needed” scarves by Hermes (and then did not want to spoil them so never wore them!)

I hope everyone else is thriving.

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Okay, I thought I was just going to log in and just write about a success and go to bed, however it sounds like I am going to write a little bit more. So, I just read about two dieters that quit and boy can that be discouraging for us newbies. I want to something I just learned tonight in my addictions class for all us that are new to the diet. Relapse is to be expected when you are trying to kick the habit. Understand I am not saying that you should expect to fail but that we are going to it just means that we need to recognize that it can happen and we need to recognize the triggers and come up with ways to deal with the urge to buy that new dres. Believe me I so badly wanted to stop on my way home from class and buy myself something new because I had stayed up most of the night writing a paper and usually when I accomplish a task that gets me one step closer to my goal, I want to myself something new to wear.
I was like Pavlov’s dog salivating because the paper was done and I was thinking I’m one less paper away from my Master’s Degree and I deserve a little sumthin sumthin from one of my favorite clothing stores. Then I reminded myself, I am on a diet!

So, as I was driving home tonight and feeling tempted to stop at the mall, I decided to identify my triggers and one of them is that DSW, the mall and Marshall’s are all on my way home from class. It made me realize that I need a new route and that I definitely needed to come up with a different type of reward system.

I know I’m new to the diet but I also want to encourage other newbies like myself because it helps me to stay on track.

I am not expecting to relapse but I know it’s a possibility. Because I am so committed to this diet I am paying attention to the triggers and I am realizing and learning that there is a whole group of supportive people on this site that will help to get me back on track.

Maybe at some point they (the two who left) will come back. Is that possible Sally? Can they rejoin?

Thank You for the welcome! I am very close to celebrating my 1-week anniversary! As we say in the Army, HOOAH!

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OK, in the past week I have heard from two women who have asked to be removed from the diet.  “No longer on the bandwagon they say.”  Boy, I sure do want to know what that means.  What does that look like?  Shopping frenzy? Pulling an online shopping all-nighter?  Daily meetings with the UPS guy?

Many of you have admitted to falling off the diet wagon which is brave (shit I fell off when I discovered I was pantless at the gym and it took me two weeks to confess).  Some of you have come forward spilling your guts and begging forgiveness while others have couched their foibles in a more matter-of-fact way.   Regardless—it’s all open kimono around here.  The truth is what makes this whole effort interesting and authentic.  Right?    

That’s why I was surprised and sorry to hear that these two women completely threw in the towel, wiped their hands and said “abstain no more.”  I want to know what made them decide to give it all up?  Was it a sexy night gown?  A kelly green, lulu lemon hoodie?  Or was it simply a classic white t-shirt.    Whatever the case I need to know… we need to know.  This is what makes this diet compelling.  The buttons that get pushed in our lives that scream…”buy it?”   It’s like the chocolate bar that begins speaking from the pantry in tongues….”eat me, eat me!.”  You know the one.   I understand the concept of simply pretending this diet idea never happened.  It has crossed my mind a few times in the past several months. But after years of talking myself into the perfect t-shirt, pair of jeans, white blouse…you fill in the blank, I want to understand this thing we call “retail therapy.” 

Anyway, if any of you have thrown in the towel for good I hope you will tell the rest of us that you have done so and why.  What was the tipping point that made you give up, give in or simply hand over your debit card.  This is the stuff of sociologists.  Come clean if you can!  And for the rest of you, keep on keepin’ on. 

 Sally, your fearless leader.

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Hello Friends,
The following is what I have learned about myself since I started this process:
1. Shopping and buying new items is an ego boost for me that cannot be replicated easily with any other activity. (What does that say about me????? Scary.)
2. Dieting works better for me when I know I can at least have a taste of something. (One Dove chocolate a day helps me stay on that detox diet.)
3. Clothes are one of my passions and passions fuel the best parts of my personality.
4. More stuff does not equal happiness. (I knew this, but I wish it were not true.)
5. Too many choices causes stress. (I still have too many clothes, but I have way less than those entertaining individuals on “What Not to Wear.” Why do women with such unstylish clothes have so many?)
6. New items quickly become old items. (Everything gets old in time, but new clothes seem to become aged rather quickly.)
7. Love in the store does mean love at home. (How can I be so fickle in the store.  Although I wear all my clothes a few items that I coveted and just had to have, seem to be just regular items now that I have worn them a few times. . .)
8. Lust is fading. (See #7)
9. The tried and true love lasts a long time. (But yet, I have some items that I just love and continue to wear such as my black leather jacket.)
10. Being a stylish woman and a smart shopper ain’t for the faint of heart!

Thanks for reading!

Ageless Goddess, Brenda aka Cookie

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While I am a newbie(and thank you Sally for the welcome), I’ve been on a self imposed no clothes buying order since before the New Year, as that is when it all hit me.  I’ve found it easy thus far, steering clear from my old clothing haunts including the very limited number of decent clothing stores for men in Seattle, there are three in total, and most deadly, the online sites.  The problem is, each month that goes by, I find myself justifying the amount of money I’m saving from not shopping.  This little ”spend averaging” attitude easily slips into my mind.  For each month I don’t spend this year, I’m off setting a month of spend on clothing from last year and bringing the average spend on clothes down.  And over time, I’m going to start telling myself that I deserve to get something because I’ve not spent for so long. 

You see, the way this hit me is I went overboard on clothes shopping the last two years, fueled by the fact that I decided I only like a few designer labels: Armani, Hugo Boss, Jill Sander, Zegna, Ralph Lauren Black and John Varvatos and with the bad economy last year, there were plenty of sales on these brands.  So the “sales justification” mentality kicked into high gear.  The Jill Sander leather jacket I eyed at Barney’s, $2,400.  Too rich for me and too scared to even wear that expensive of a jacket out, but then the 40% off sale.  Still couldn’t justify. And then 65% off….$840, okay.  Sold.  Fits perfectly and I receive lots of compliments, but there is was, a justification from a sale.  By the end of the year, it had gotten out of hand. 

So to put it fairly, the closest is full and I don’t need any more clothes, but I miss it. I miss pawing through the racks and seeing the latest colors and trends, or searching on saks.com or yoox.com for the latest pieces from my favorite designers, or using shopstyle.com to see what others are finding that I didn’t find.  You get caught up in the search…for something new, fresh, different, unique, but you also know the consequence.  If you look, you will find, and if you find, you will want.

Thanks for reading.

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Ok girls, and one guy.  We do have one guy now, though we are yet to hear from him on the blog.  Anyway, back to my point.  Last week I posted the poll over there to your right.  It’s sort of a trite, yes/no kind of a poll.  I was in a hurry and was getting tired of the old department store versus boutique poll and thought it was time for some poll freshen-ing up.  And the: Is it easy?or Is it hard? poll was the best I could do that day.   When I published the question I was feeling proud and sassy, as if I could go a lifetime without buying anything new.   Well today is another story.  To say “who’s idea was this anyway,” would be saying it lightly.  It’s more like who’s!@#$%^&*()_ing idea was this anyway?   You see we have had record breaking sunshine in Seattle and temperatures hovering around 58 degrees.  It’s like Mother’s Day in February which is giving me some insight into my very limited warm weather wardrobe.  What pray tell will I wear when the real mother’s day gets here?   At least in the winter you can layer a great coat over a bad outfit. Not so in warm weather.  Can you say painter’s smock?  Perhaps I’ll pick up the paintbrush again. 

So back to the poll.  Last week this diet business was easy….this week?  Un frickin’ bearable.  I want something bright, snappy and new.  The good news is…tomorrow I will likely feel differently.  Hang in there girls, and our one guy! 

Sincerly, your fearless leader

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This thing called the recession really helped put some things in perspective for me. Things that are all invariably linked. My husband lost his job last April and we had a 4 mo. old at the time so we have cut back in a lot of ways. Andrew is since working, but at a fraction of his previous salary. So, we’ve had to undergo some belt tightening. But, really and truly, we still have plenty. You could cut what we have in 1/2 and it’s still more than enough.

I am thinking about gluttony. Not just by me (although I do my fair share) but by the culture of America that I grew up with. I am, on a personal level, trying to figure out why I have this slightly on edge, slightly restless feeling when I’m not shopping. All day today, I wanted to surf the web to browse for the latest clothes (even though I can’t buy them) and just now I was about to enter in the url to Eddie Bauer when I entered in GAD’s instead. Whew. Saved for now. But I’ve had an itch to buy… which is maybe why I surfed the web this morning looking for fleece jammies for my son (didn’t buy b/c I didn’t like any), and then later purchased a confirmation gift & a wedding gift, and then paid some bills, and then surfed around aimlessly at amazon.com and paper-source.com (two of my favorite places but still didn’t buy anything)… Where am I going with this? Even though I’m not buying clothing, the urge to shop hasn’t left me. I’ve gone cold turkey by avoiding the malls, unsubscribing from the ads from companies in my email, etc, etc… and yet I’m still dying to go shopping! I think this same urge translates over to food…

I know that mind over matter should rule… but it’s a very well matched battle indeed.

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Last year I made the choice to stop purchasing new clothes, and this year I have chosen not to purchase any clothes at all. So far, so good. In fact, I don’t even miss the endless, mindless shopping and I’ve decided to put my saved cash toward something fun, my first vacation in 5 years. My husband and I chose to head out to Park City, Utah for some pretty intense snowboarding. We traveled with friends to keep the expense down, but really enjoyed ourselves and I’m so glad that I had the opportunity to go. My three lifestyle changes that I have implemented have made the trip possible. No smoking, means that I could still breathe and be active at 11,000+ feet, getting up early and working out prepared me for four straight days of hardcore riding, and the money that I didn’t spend on clothes helped to fund the trip. I finally feel unencumbered, rather than just sacrificing by participating.

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Been wanting to do this post for a while now, but can’t seem to get myself to write somehow…but here’s attempt to change that…

I learned about the apparel diet (or the ’shopping diet’, as I prefer to call it, trying to spread its meaning from simply clothes to other things I want to leave aside for a while, a part which I shall get to later) from a dear friend, who mentioned it in one of our online conversations of some kind; I instinctively felt like I should join, tho at that time I was not quite sure what my reasons were. I just said I wanted to, and I did – as easy as saying ‘no thank you’ to one extra cookie after you’ve had five already, I said ‘no’ to a whole seven months of going through stores, admiring patterns, materials and shapes, enjoying the feel, the look and the touch, and finally adding some happiness to my closet by making it one tiny little piece more full, more ‘complete’. And not only that – I regretted not doing it earlier, not having banned myself from shopping back then in September when I should have done it, but waiting until now. Why?

I guess reading what I just said, one would think I have a serious shopping addiction that I have become aware of, and have found in myself (probably after years of struggle) the desire to put an end to it, and save myself from debt and an empty wallet. And yet, I don’t think it could be any further from the truth I am most certainly not an obsessive shopper – I don’t buy very often, and I only buy things that I am sure I am going to wear; Unless there is a “change in my proportions” (which happens, because my weight oscillates wildly on occasions) and things become too small for me, I am most certainly to wear everything I get multiple times, and enjoy it. I am also not one of those people who buy things only because they are cheap, or because they ‘think’ they need two more pairs of ‘that fav shirt they have now, just in case’ – I prefer spending my money on less, but quality pieces, and I enjoy good design; I enjoy non-conventional pieces, love to explore the works of young, not-yet-famous designers, and am able to save for months to get myself one of those desired, special pieces. This does not mean that I don’t get an occasional ‘shopping rush’ and go crazy at H&M – au contraire, I love shopping everywhere, from second-hands to designer stores, and I cherish my nice H&M finds (or things I find in my grandma’s closet) as much as I do my one piece of contemporary Scandinavian design, which took me months of saving to acquire. But I am, all taken into account, really not one of those ladies who shop (too) much, and in a way I am happy with that

But, if I don’t have a shopping problem, and I’ve already learned to use and re-use every of the pieces in my wardrobe, why am I doing this? In all honesty, because of things which have nothing to do with clothes as such, but with self-understanding.

I’ve always found clothes to be much more than simple ‘cover-ups’, something we wear because we need to, because we want to make ourselves warm and cozy. For me they’re a form of beauty we bring into our lives every day; but not only that – they’re our means to express ourselves, our stances, moods, ideas, even power positions and dominance. Clothes are much like cinema, or paintings, or music – the final product, the final piece is an expression of an idea, of a concept. And, on the person who wears and combines it, each piece can become a whole new concept, or a prolongation of the previous idea. But, clothes are also a business, a major industry, an addiction of a kind. And we take the meanings and concepts, the narratives attached to individual pieces or brands too seriously sometimes. We take almost for granted that we can – if we really try, invest enough, combine colours enough, and – yes! – shop enough – re-invent ourselves from scratch, add something to our own identity in layers, changing our moods and characters with our appearance, re-defining our ‘place of belonging’ through our visual identity. And to an extent, we can. But to know where the limit is between expressing yourself and finding yourself anew all over again through everything you take in and let out from yourself, on the one hand, and simply taking the pre-created little niches, fitting into the pre-defined models that are being sold to us as desirable (not only in fashion, but also in art, literature, cinema – there is always something that’s ‘desirable’ at the moment, even if it is not ‘mainstream’), on the other, is hard. And it is even harder if you are young (at heart), and uncertain of where you belong. So my challenge, and the reason why I have taken upon the diet, would be to give myself time to think about two things. One is, how do I want to express myself? What do I really need for that, what should I look like, how do I find my own ways to re-invent myself and ‘show’ myself without the constant craving for ‘the new’ – what is constant to me, and what changes, and how do I channel these things about myself successfully? The other: once fashion becomes a bit more distanced from me, once I’ve tied my hands, I want to pay more attention to other things that define me: the books, the travels, the arts, the visuals…I want to buy a camera, and try capturing other people’s expressions through clothing, instead of focusing so much on mine, constantly thinking how to ‘upgrade’ them. I want to re-think my criteria on beauty, values and things that are relevant to me, and freeing myself from the unnecessary ‘weights’ is, it seems, a good place to start And not just with the clothes – I want to start being more aware of what I buy of cosmetics, what scents I want to keep around me, what ethical criteria is relevant to me, and how I can incorporate all those things in my everyday life.

So, going on a ‘diet’ is basically the same as taking some time off to think. Think about things important to me, and those I can live without. And so far it isn’t hard at all – I am enjoying it tremendously, and feeling good

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